I love the AA / Al-Anon slogan of "Doing the next right thing". It's meant to be applied to oneself but I sometimes get caught in the trap of expecting someone else to do the next right thing, as I see it.
Everyone's next right thing is their own. My right may be opposite of yours. If so, that means that healthy boundaries are pretty important. As I continue the process of "kind of" re-parenting myself, those boundaries become clearer. There is nothing wrong with expectations when it concerns how the actions of another may affect you. I have hopes and dreams...goals. When the repeated action of another may impede my future plans, I have the right to say "NO". What the other person does with that line drawn in the sand is their own choice.
My counselor reminds me that there is a very fine line between healthy boundaries and controlling. I agree. There are times when the scene before me looks like a window acting as a barrier from a heavy downpour. On my side of the window, everything is quite clear but look towards the outside and things get blurry, landscapes become smeared and no matter how much you squeeze your eyes together, the view refuses to come into focus.
So I set my boundaries pretty clearly. They were repeated to me...the person heard what I had to say. The next thing I know someone is pushing again. Do I redraw? Good question. I don't know the right answer and that is OK. I do know that the next right thing for me is to remember that I will take care of me. I can rely on that: I can trust me.