It's 5 am and I've been up for awhile but it's OK, I got some decent sleep. I'm ready to start a new day with a positive attitude.
I had a small epiphany yesterday morning while basking in a light stream of steamy hot water; a warm shower always helps me think things through. The day before, while chatting with the Boy Scout, he mentioned to me how I will eventually look back and regret the time I wasted worrying and fretting about his employment or lack thereof. Musing over this statement, it occurred to me that I spent a lot of my life just that way. I allowed fear to overwhelm or put a damper on moments that simply needed to happen, that had to be experienced and how living all those moments in fear wasted precious time.
I believe I have mentioned before of the incredible experience I had when, as a family, we loved our mother to heaven’s door. Losing her was the greatest loss I have experienced and yet I didn't live in fear for those last 5 or so hours. I remained present, loved, remembered and ached with the beauty of life and family, the never ending cycle. If I could be present for that, I could be present for just about anything with a little hard work and a huge change in mindset.
Spending today grateful.