DID YOU KNOW?

With good boundaries you don't have to argue, fight or throw fits. Did you all know that?  DID YOU????

Did you already know that when people do things that feel hurtful or when they break their promises, you don't have to react, over-react or blow up? Why didn't I learn this?

Good clear boundaries say "This behavior is unacceptable to me. I don't have to live like this" or "I will not engage." I've set a boundary that I am very proud of and very comfortable with. I am interested to see how it plays out. Will I stay true? Will I cave in? I am not sure as it is a new practice and I have no precedent for what comes next.

What I have learned is that whether I stay true to my new boundary or whether I renegotiate...it's ok, I am OK. It will not mean I am a loser or weak. It will simply mean that I need to figure out, once again, how I feel, where I am going and how I am going to get there. I will treat myself like a little sister, with compassion and love. Reminding myself that I either did well and pat myself on the back or encourage myself that despite that fact that it didn't go as planned I am still valuable and worthy of good relationships and healthy love.

The learning process is so exciting and so exhausting, but here I am...moving forward. Enjoying the ride, experiencing life as I never knew it before, with gratitude and HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.


Have a fabulous day! 



Comments

  1. Debra She Who SeeksMarch 22, 2017 at 11:17 AM

    Good for you! Boundaries setting can be so difficult, especially for women. We are traditionally socialized not to have good boundaries because it facilitates our service to others (husbands, children, employers, everyone) at our own expense. It's certainly an issue I've always had to struggle with and learn how to do, learn the hard way of course, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dMarch 22, 2017 at 12:32 PM

      Always the hard way!!!! Would love to change that but....at least I'm still learning.

      Delete
  2. BirdieMarch 22, 2017 at 6:16 PM

    In all honesty, my marriage is better than ever since I no longer engage my husband when he is Ina fighting mood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dMarch 22, 2017 at 7:57 PM

      Good good good for you Birdie. You learned it before me then💜

      Delete
    2. BirdieMarch 23, 2017 at 11:29 AM

      It's something I have to learn and relearn. I learned it in my Al Anon days but didn't put into practice until the last year or so.

      Delete
  3. MarthaMarch 22, 2017 at 7:12 PM

    Setting boundaries is a wonderful thing. I learned this the hard way with my horrible first marriage. It was a disaster relationship but a great teaching tool :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dMarch 22, 2017 at 8:01 PM

      Yes yes! If only I had learned and practiced this from the get go. The tool was painful as can be but I rejoice in it now💜

      Delete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

A Journey To Home

Image
My tender hearted girl decided she wanted to foster an old lady. Selkie is 14, is nearly deaf and nearly blind, has a hard time walking and uses her bark to get her needs met.  She got her home, took her for a bath and then basically loved this old girl for three weeks until the property manager decided that it wasn’t a good match (barking too much AND because she is a pit bull).  My girl knew it was probably temporary but she gave that dog a comfortable loving home, away from the chaos of the shelter, for a short time.  Ideally, she would have walked her home but that’s not how it worked this time.  Last night she stood and ugly cried on a strangers shoulder after giving her back.  I love that girl and her sweet heart.  I wish Selkie a new final home full of love. 
Read more

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary...
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  I...
Read more