Wednesday, March 22, 2017

DID YOU KNOW?

With good boundaries you don't have to argue, fight or throw fits. Did you all know that?  DID YOU????

Did you already know that when people do things that feel hurtful or when they break their promises, you don't have to react, over-react or blow up? Why didn't I learn this?

Good clear boundaries say "This behavior is unacceptable to me. I don't have to live like this" or "I will not engage." I've set a boundary that I am very proud of and very comfortable with. I am interested to see how it plays out. Will I stay true? Will I cave in? I am not sure as it is a new practice and I have no precedent for what comes next.

What I have learned is that whether I stay true to my new boundary or whether I renegotiate...it's ok, I am OK. It will not mean I am a loser or weak. It will simply mean that I need to figure out, once again, how I feel, where I am going and how I am going to get there. I will treat myself like a little sister, with compassion and love. Reminding myself that I either did well and pat myself on the back or encourage myself that despite that fact that it didn't go as planned I am still valuable and worthy of good relationships and healthy love.

The learning process is so exciting and so exhausting, but here I am...moving forward. Enjoying the ride, experiencing life as I never knew it before, with gratitude and HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.


Have a fabulous day! 



7 comments:

  1. Good for you! Boundaries setting can be so difficult, especially for women. We are traditionally socialized not to have good boundaries because it facilitates our service to others (husbands, children, employers, everyone) at our own expense. It's certainly an issue I've always had to struggle with and learn how to do, learn the hard way of course, lol.

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    1. Always the hard way!!!! Would love to change that but....at least I'm still learning.

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  2. In all honesty, my marriage is better than ever since I no longer engage my husband when he is Ina fighting mood.

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    1. Good good good for you Birdie. You learned it before me then💜

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    2. It's something I have to learn and relearn. I learned it in my Al Anon days but didn't put into practice until the last year or so.

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  3. Setting boundaries is a wonderful thing. I learned this the hard way with my horrible first marriage. It was a disaster relationship but a great teaching tool :)

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    1. Yes yes! If only I had learned and practiced this from the get go. The tool was painful as can be but I rejoice in it now💜

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