Thursday, March 9, 2017

Camino de Santiago

The Camino is calling me again. It has whispered my name for 15 years or more.

5 years back, when I has finally got more serious about the undertaking, my family went through a metamorphosis of sorts, I realized it just wasn't the time. Kids were still at home and home life was chaotic at best.

Then I met the Boy Scout and was just concentrating on healing and enjoying life in a way I never had. Not a perfect life but a far better one that I had been living for the best part of 10 years; one with friends and outings with people I enjoyed. Waking up everyday knowing that I no longer had to live with the insanity that had become "normal" to me.

The Boy Scout and I have had our ups and downs. I am growing and healing old scars and dealing with new ones in a healthier way. I've got a long way to go but I am thrilled to be headed in the right direction. Al-Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, a great counselor and some excellent support from family and friends have paved the way and made it a little easier but the walk is my own and I've found that I have an odd little habit of making forward progress and then suddenly walking in circles. The Boy Scout has his own walk and, at times, it feels as if we might be heading in opposite directions.

Now, I think it's time. I've been reading a bunch and sizing up my fears of traveling alone, of my hearing disability and, perhaps, of finding out that I need to make more changes in my life than I feel ready to make. That's OK. I am learning not to borrow from the future and that, in and of itself, a small miracle.

I am thinking September would be a good time to go. That is my aim right now at least. We shall see. The thought of the Camino, with its unpredictability and the alberques (makeshift dorms with bunk-beds and rustic accommodations) is a real challenge for this introvert who gave up camping a long time ago, but I am learning that I have choices and options and there is no one in the country of Spain, walking along the Camino, that I have to please in any way shape or form. I am hoping to find some peace, forgiveness, a new self love and a better handle on the negative voices in my head, along with a deeper trust in my Higher Power....my God.

It's still a dream but it's a little closer than it was last year or the year before or the year before that.

If you are interested check these out:

The Way
The Way - One mans journey


6 comments:

  1. I've known a few people who have walked the Camino. It is certainly a real act of devotion. On a practical note, learn all you can about how to care for and heal blisters.

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  2. Sounds like an exciting trip. Good for you for planning to do this.

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    1. planning and doing.....two different things :)

      I am hopeful.

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  3. Even the thought of doing it seems heroic to me.

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  4. What an adventure. I hope you make it and find it a healing experience.

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