What Language Do You Speak?

trust
noun
  1. 1.
    firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

    "relations have to be built on trust"

    synonyms:confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence;
    "good relationships are built on trust"
  2. 2.
    LAW
    confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.


Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship. For those of us who have been damaged by betrayal in our distant or recent pasts, trust has to be a deliberate choice. It doesn't come natural; it requires vulnerability and a transparency that can be hard to give to others. It can be even harder for some to expose themselves to themselves. Nobody wants to view themselves as lacking honesty, integrity and dependability.

Based on the above description of trust, we see that trust is much more than a gut feeling or a blind faith in someone. It’s merit-based. Trust is utterly different than love and forgiveness. You do not EARN love and forgiveness (they are given freely), but trust can’t be given freely; it is the only vital part of a relationship that must be earned. Giving a person, with whom we no longer trust, our love and forgiveness results in a richer, fuller life and a greater sense of peace as long as healthy boundaries are put in place. Giving trust blindly to a person who does not deserve it causes pain and suffering.
Love and forgiveness are vital to allowing trust to have the opportunity to be rebuilt when it’s been broken. This is important for me to remember when I am moving forward. I need to be aware that the damaged soul I have inside of me may not react in a healthy way when confronted with pain or betrayal. I need to call on my program and remember the empathy I have tried to develop and listen to what is being said, I need to pause, and mostly, I need to call on my Higher Power for guidance on what is right or wrong, honorable or dishonorable, integrity or deception. 
What I do know is that actions speak far louder than any words ever spoken in any language ever uttered. I want to be a trustworthy person. I would like for my scars to soften so that I have the ability to see myself clearly. I am grateful for the forgiveness that has been lavished on me by so many people in my life.
Based on the description above, who do you trust? And for more importantly, are you trustworthy?


Comments

  1. MarthaFebruary 22, 2017 at 7:49 PM

    I trust my husband 100%. With my ex-husband it was the opposite. I also trust my mother, my brother and my two kids 100%. We're a pretty close family and we're always there for each other. I like to think that I'm trustworthy. And I do my best to prove that I am. One thing's for sure. I can keep a secret. When someone shares something with me and asks me to promise not to tell anyone, I never EVER break that promise.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Linda dFebruary 23, 2017 at 6:47 AM

    I am so glad that you have so many people that you trust implicitly. I've been thinking about you and your big moving job. Hope you are doing well.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

A Journey To Home

Image
My tender hearted girl decided she wanted to foster an old lady. Selkie is 14, is nearly deaf and nearly blind, has a hard time walking and uses her bark to get her needs met.  She got her home, took her for a bath and then basically loved this old girl for three weeks until the property manager decided that it wasn’t a good match (barking too much AND because she is a pit bull).  My girl knew it was probably temporary but she gave that dog a comfortable loving home, away from the chaos of the shelter, for a short time.  Ideally, she would have walked her home but that’s not how it worked this time.  Last night she stood and ugly cried on a strangers shoulder after giving her back.  I love that girl and her sweet heart.  I wish Selkie a new final home full of love. 
Read more

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary...
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  I...
Read more