Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship. For those of us who have been damaged by betrayal in our distant or recent pasts, trust has to be a deliberate choice. It doesn't come natural; it requires vulnerability and a transparency that can be hard to give to others. It can be even harder for some to expose themselves to themselves. Nobody wants to view themselves as lacking honesty, integrity and dependability.
Based on the above description of trust, we see that trust is much more than a gut feeling or a blind faith in someone. It’s merit-based. Trust is utterly different than love and forgiveness. You do not EARN love and forgiveness (they are given freely), but trust can’t be given freely; it is the only vital part of a relationship that must be earned. Giving a person, with whom we no longer trust, our love and forgiveness results in a richer, fuller life and a greater sense of peace as long as healthy boundaries are put in place. Giving trust blindly to a person who does not deserve it causes pain and suffering.
Love and forgiveness are vital to allowing trust to have the opportunity to be rebuilt when it’s been broken. This is important for me to remember when I am moving forward. I need to be aware that the damaged soul I have inside of me may not react in a healthy way when confronted with pain or betrayal. I need to call on my program and remember the empathy I have tried to develop and listen to what is being said, I need to pause, and mostly, I need to call on my Higher Power for guidance on what is right or wrong, honorable or dishonorable, integrity or deception.
What I do know is that actions speak far louder than any words ever spoken in any language ever uttered. I want to be a trustworthy person. I would like for my scars to soften so that I have the ability to see myself clearly. I am grateful for the forgiveness that has been lavished on me by so many people in my life.
Based on the description above, who do you trust? And for more importantly, are you trustworthy?