Who Do Your Kids Belong To

Your Children are not Your Children

by Kahlil Gibran

Your Children are not Your Children

They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. 

I love this so much. I used to want my children to be like me and hold my beliefs. My community demonized the "worldly world" and I bought it hook, line and sinker. I worried about their salvation and being exposed to too much too soon. I felt guilty for my complete horror at the thought of home schooling while so many of my friends did that or enrolled their kids in various forms of religious education. I even fretted as they chose their colleges, wishing they would choose Christian schools and actually believing that would limit their exposure to the things that scared me most. I worried for naught!  Worrying doesn’t not change anything....if I could tell you one thing of ultimate importance...WORRYING DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING.

Children grow up and, hopefully, despite our very best efforts, make their own choices, follow their own goals and learn to be true to themselves and put away our visions of them. We do them a disservice if, while they branch out, we attempt to hold them back. That is definitely how fear based living works. Hold everything close and in our control, while telling them their choices are wrong or make them doubt themselves.

I’d do many things differently but I did the best I could with what I had. It’s my job to make me better….no one else….just me. Amen and Amen.