Keeping Busy

A picture from yesterdays golf game..my favorite hole.
New Years resolution...continue last years and say yes.

 Feelings today....interesting. 

 I just kinda realized that I am seeing my siblings less and less. L and S, who are both older than me (and with whom I was once so close) continue to do things together as couples whenever they get a chance and I, or we, are rarely invited. Probably because they are so used to me saying no but also because they have developed common interests that I don't share. Not necessarily because I don't want to but because when my life went on hold, when everything was crazy in my house, their lives went on. They go on cruises together, they have kayaks and took swing dance classes together. It's alright...I am happy they are busy and having a good time but I do wish I was a bit busier and that my world was a bigger. Perhaps a new resolution?

 Feeling anxiety today for no particular reason so I am trying self care. Allowing myself to feel the feelings and trying to NOT push them away, shoving them down to parts unknown where they can do some real damage. Focusing on my gratefuls, for there are many. Breathing....in...breathing....out.

 The rain is falling in this drought ridden state and I am tempted to go running in it. It is wet but 60° so it would be a comfortable run. I wish I hadn't just washed my hair. I may go just yet....we only live once.







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