Monday, November 7, 2016

No One Can Stop You

What a perfect weekend! 

Saturday golf with a new friend in beautiful Southern California (mid 80's and a light breeze), an art showing right after and a easy Sunday with the farmers market, a little companionable yard work, a fabulous dinner and a Broncos game to top it off.



As I am writing this, it is not lost on me that just two 1/2 years ago I was living in utter chaos. I felt trapped, angry and sad most of the time. What a difference a year or two makes.

I have to tell you though, it is not just the Boy Scout that has made the difference. He is amazing and I feel incredibly blessed to have him in my life but he did not cause the change. I would not be able to enjoy any of this new life without putting in a lot of hard work in Al-Anon and counseling. The hardest part of remaking my life has been a day in and day out attempt at changing default thinking. The natural tilt I had developed to the negative...the underlying anger and hurt that controlled the way I reacted to any given situation. I still do it, I still get angry and hurt and I still react but often times, I am able to gain control before even opening my my mouth and, if not, a short term heated discussion ensues.

I love the changes but I still have a long way to go. 

The Secret Keeper stopped by very late one night and left a couple of pumpkins and pomegranates on my front porch. I was unable to sleep that night so when I got his text somewhere around midnight letting me know he had left something I put down my paint brush and took a look. At first, my instinct was to get angry but, after giving it some thought, I was able to thank him by text and say that it was thoughtful. He replied that he just wanted to do something "normal" for me. I didn't point out that putting stuff on your ex-wife's front porch in the middle of the night is not anywhere close to normal...I guess it's normal for him. He had a date the other night. I don't think it went fantastic but I was still pretty happy for him. I wish him love and companionship...I know he is very lonely. 

That's about it....I hope you have a fantastic week.

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