Loving and Living Without Expectations
Replace expectations with
healthy boundaries and life gets much more peaceful.
Easier said than done.
I made a mistake and was disappointed because of expecting someone
to do what I considered the right thing. Well, disappointed is probably a
little bit of an understatement. Resentment is a far better word for what I am
feeling right now.
Al-Anon gave me a tool for this...it's in my box but my ego got in
the way. It said to me, "You do all this; therefore, this person will put
a similar effort in on their part." Big no no! If I am doing something
with the expectation of something in return then my motives are skewed.
The better way for me to handle this is to figure out what I can
and cannot live with and what I am able to give freely without needing
something in return and then just do so. Unfortunately, this means cutting back
on doing things I love or doing a lot more things alone. It kinda sucks
because I spent a long time doing a whole bunch of things alone. Alone and I
never were great partners. Perhaps because of the terrible relationship I was
in, Alone was a constant reminder of an incredibly deep loneliness that I could see no escape from.
Ah well, I don't have to figure this out today. Al-Anon teaches me
that also....it's OK to not do anything or take any action right now. I think I
will give the situation some more thought.
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