Thursday, August 25, 2016

Loving and Living Without Expectations

Replace expectations with healthy boundaries and life gets much more peaceful.

Easier said than done.

I made a mistake and was disappointed because of expecting someone to do what I considered the right thing. Well, disappointed is probably a little bit of an understatement. Resentment is a far better word for what I am feeling right now.

Al-Anon gave me a tool for's in my box but my ego got in the way. It said to me, "You do all this; therefore, this person will put a similar effort in on their part." Big no no! If I am doing something with the expectation of something in return then my motives are skewed. 

The better way for me to handle this is to figure out what I can and cannot live with and what I am able to give freely without needing something in return and then just do so. Unfortunately, this means cutting back on doing things I love or doing a lot more things alone. It kinda sucks because I spent a long time doing a whole bunch of things alone. Alone and I never were great partners. Perhaps because of the terrible relationship I was in, Alone was a constant reminder of an incredibly deep loneliness that I could see no escape from.

Ah well, I don't have to figure this out today. Al-Anon teaches me that's OK to not do anything or take any action right now. I think I will give the situation some more thought.

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