Don't Strike While The Iron is Hot

There is so much beauty in this world, it amazes me. We get to choose how we walk through life; we get to decide if our eyes are opened or if we shut them tight in a futile attempt to protect ourselves from the pain the world throws our way.

The "shutting of our eyes" may mean something different to me than it would to someone else. Pour moi, it means lashing out at what might hurt me, what scares me. If you are smart you won't get in the way. The other night I made a mistake of striking instead of conversing. I hate it when I do that...I HATE IT WHEN I DO THAT. My counselor talks about giving myself a time out to figure out why my reaction is so intense. Whether is stems from being abandoned by my alcoholic father or, perhaps, still dealing with the ugly demise of my marriage...I'm suppose to figure that out before engaging. I'm not that evolved yet but I am working on it. Later on, I was able to just talk, unemotionally and with logic, about the issue. I only wish I could have done it from the start.


On a lighter note, my work cash flow problem has been taken care of with some advice from a good friend. All is well for the time being. So grateful for the tools I have acquired through Al-Anon and counseling that allows me to keep things in a better perspective. Previously, I would have lost sleep and been jumping down my loved ones throats. Not this time....when the anxiety hit, I opened my tool chest. VICTORY!

Have a wonderful day my friend.


Comments

  1. BirdieAugust 18, 2016 at 2:00 PM

    I love the quote you posted on the side. I actually added it to my desktop because I need to be reminded of all of it right now.
    Of course I don't know you personally but I think you are one of the beautiful souls that walk around this planet. We are carry hurt, sadness and anger and we all process different ways. Sometimes we do it well but mostly we just go back and have to keep learning. And that is OK. We aren't bad and we have not failed. We are just living like everyone else.

    Namaste. xo

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

A Journey To Home

Image
My tender hearted girl decided she wanted to foster an old lady. Selkie is 14, is nearly deaf and nearly blind, has a hard time walking and uses her bark to get her needs met.  She got her home, took her for a bath and then basically loved this old girl for three weeks until the property manager decided that it wasn’t a good match (barking too much AND because she is a pit bull).  My girl knew it was probably temporary but she gave that dog a comfortable loving home, away from the chaos of the shelter, for a short time.  Ideally, she would have walked her home but that’s not how it worked this time.  Last night she stood and ugly cried on a strangers shoulder after giving her back.  I love that girl and her sweet heart.  I wish Selkie a new final home full of love. 
Read more

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary...
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  I...
Read more