Monday, August 22, 2016

A Great Day In Life

It's 4:00 am and I just spent the last hour of a restless night reading my blog from the start. It was so good to see how far I've come, how much things have changed.   I'm grateful beyond words.

Today I will talk a little about the Boy Scout. He is laying next to me, wearing that CPAP machine (thank goodness) and sleeping soundly.  When he wakes he will do so with a smile, like he does almost every morning. He will profess his love and caress my face. This guy is easy going, easy to laugh, loves animals and children, adores my kids and has a tremendous amount of loyalty for me, his friends and even his ex-wife. He loves to cook and entertain and he sings and dances while he does it. I have grown to love this man in a way that is foreign to me. I love him enough to face my demons and question their validity even in the middle of an argument. Something I should have learned to do as a child but better late than never.

The Boy Scout sometimes struggles with sadness and people pleasing and has not always coped with those things in a healthy manner. With me, he has jumped through hoops to understand and alleviate all the fears that plague my waking hours. What he fails to understand is that it is my job to learn to cope with the fear and anxiety, which is often times not even based in reality. He has no power since, he too, is a victim of the voices in my head that send up red flags and point out his every flaw. 

Not today though.  Today we will golf with one of his dearest friends on one of his favorite golf courses that sits beautifully along side the Pacific Ocean. Afterwards we will come home and rest up a bit before having dinner with another dear friend and his wife.   

Counting my blessings of which the Boy Scout is one of many.

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