Tuesday, August 2, 2016

30 Days of Happiness - Day 4

Day 4 - Find one homeless person and give them some money. It doesn't have to be a lot, but when you give it to them, make eye contact and smile.

Done and done.  

Once again, not sure how this is an act of self love except, maybe, showing love to others is a form of self love. Our local Lowes has an exit where there is always someone standing. Today was a young kid...maybe 17 to 22. I'm guessing his drug of choice is meth judging by the extreme thinness, twitchy body movements and sores on his face. My oldest daughter and youngest son both have strong opinions about the distribution of money to the homeless. My eldest spent a semester in San Francisco. When she came home, she espoused the concept of giving only to the charities that serve the homeless rather than the guy on the corner. I understand this....at least you know that you are providing nourishment or shelter with your cash. My youngest son believes that if a couple of bucks is going to ease the discomfort of another human being, why deny it. They will get the help they need when they are ready. I'm on the fence but, normally, I will have bags that we make up and distribute with snacks, toothpaste and brush and some basics. 

Today, following the directive, I said hello to the young man and realized how close he is in age to my sons and wished, so badly, that I could help him in a more profound way. Al-Anon has taught me that I am not a fixer but a messer upper when I put my nose where is doesn't belong. I have no control, no super powers, no amazingly profound words that can fix anyone except myself. So I wished him a good day and said a little prayer. Hopefully, there is someone, somewhere that when he is ready for help, will answer the phone.


  1. I think it *is* an act of self love. The "All is One" concept.

    I normally don't discuss charities I give to but I was giving a small monthly gift to feed and care for the homeless. But then this Tent City showed up. It was appalling but not in the way you might think. It wasn't the living conditions, it was their demands. The "city" was littered with garbage, used needles and urine/feces even though proper containers had been set up. The city was full of stolen items. There were dozens of stolen bikes, more appearing daily. The violence was getting out of hand. They wanted more and more and more and were not willing to lift a finger for any of it.

    So now, I am ashamed of my feeling towards the homeless. Of course there are homeless that are wanting to work their way out of their terrible situation but it seems the majority of them just WANT. I haven't discussed this with anyone but my husband because I really am a caring and compassionate person but right now I just feel taken advantage of. It is a new feeling for me to not want to help. I have never felt this before.

    I am glad you helped that boy. A while back I saw a boy about the same age as my son. He was so young. My husband and I took him to McDonald's where he inhaled a two full meals. :-)

  2. Helping, person by person, is a great way to go isn't it? I understand being jaded by what has happened in your city though.

    My thoughts go back to my ex-husband and realize that, at any given time, he is one step away from being homeless due to his mental illness. One bad day can wipe away any headway he makes when his head is being kind or somewhat under control. Since so many of our homeless are sick, it is so hard for me to balance the emotions of empathy, discouragement or anger.

    It a work in progress.

  3. I think one of the reasons I am mad at myself for being angry is I have a mental illness and know how hard it is and how close I am to being unwell really fast. I want to have total compassion for the homeless but it does feel like they are preying on the love and kindness of people.


    I hope my anger passes.


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