Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Trees and Children

I'm taking my oldest to the airport today. She's off on a little adventure to PA to visit friends in her online community. I am so proud of this girl.

I didn't teach my kids self-care. I didn't emulate it...didn't even really know what it implied but when our family unit fell apart, each of the us started a journey of trying to figure out what the words "self-care" meant.

My oldest started life out
not quite fitting in but found a few good friends that were solid and true. Unfortunately for her, my need for everything to be perfect didn't allow for the girl that considers herself a bit of a weirdo to feel free to be herself. I never got that but I do now and I fully embrace who she is. She is kind, loyal, thoughtful, loving, uptight, beautiful, artistic, quirky, anxious, inside her own head and just plain wonderful. She takes her role as a partner, daughter, sister and oldest sibling seriously and with great thought. I wish her the tools to let go of her social anxiety, to learn to love freely and to relax and live in the moment. Those are my wishes for her....as if it's all about me.

What Al-Anon, counseling and self discovery has taught me is that her journey is her own....I can't facilitate it, prod it, guide in a direction I think is appropriate.....in other words "MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS" and just love your kid.




2 comments:

  1. My daughter also battles social anxiety. She has trouble answering the phone! The thing is, I get it. And I think minding my own business is one of the hardest parts of parenting. I go between wanting to keep them safe (Call me when you get there.) and controlling (Call when you get there!)

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  2. I totally agree Birdie. It's a tough job to go from making every decision at the start to setting them completely free. I realize now my message was I don't trust you to look out for your own best interest so I will interfere. Who knew? Shutting my mouth till asked has been the hardest thing. Ah well....keep trying :) Have a great Thursday.

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