While practicing my Al-Anon walk, I found a frustration that even though the texts and sayings showed me there was a better way to live, I just wasn't getting some of the tools needed to make certain changes. Turn up the heat and I was right back to being the cornered animal, feeling powerless, ready to do anything I needed just to feel safe. That ugly reaction still exists but not so severe and definitely not as often.
One of the things that I do to help facilitate real change in my life is to listen to positive affirmations. I use YouTube videos that do not run contrary with my belief system to help change my negative or fearful thought process.
Search positive affirmations or meditations and many videos will come up. Some voices irritate me or are difficult to understand because of my hearing loss and some are just too "other worldly". For one reason or another, I have found that I really like a number of the Jason Stephenson videos. I don't know a thing about him but I use the following videos quite frequently:
The sleep one has been a god-send and I am finally, gratefully and finally, sleeping through most nights.
Grateful beyond words.