How do I identify myself? The subject of the sermon on Sunday hit home in a meaningful way. One thing I realized after listening to the message was that my self-identification is fluid, changing from situation to situation. Perhaps not as much as it once did but I still put on many different hats during any 24 hour period.
When asked who I am, I would say; mother, daughter, lover, child of God, orphan, sister, friend, pet lover, business owner. When asked what I am like, I would say; introvert, searcher, fairly open minded, loyal, willing to hear both sides, loving, tender, honest, empathetic........additionally, I am; fearful, manipulative, hotheaded, sharp tongued, quick to anger, dirty fighter, jealous, anxious and did I mention fearful?
I was challenged to figure out if the way I define myself is lasting and healthy. By keeping my Higher Power at the forefront, being a child of God first, I allow myself to be so much better at the other things. I can love more freely my children, my Boy Scout, siblings and friends, if I can drop my expectations for people who cannot help but let me down or break my heart and rely on my God to nourish the parts of my heart and soul that fear criticism, failure, abandonment and deceit.
I don't want to be just a mother....I'm way too flawed to do that well. As a woman of God, I can try to love my kids as God loves me, with patience, understanding and completely unconditional. I am not the girlfriend of the Boy Scout (that can be very scary), I am follower of the Lord who happens to love a Boy Scout.
Another step in a long journey of understanding, growing and learning to love