She has been planning this for quite awhile. I have been dreading it for about the same amount of time. When the subject first came up, I wasn't very supportive. She wanted to get lavender on her forearm. She explained that it was because lavender is my favorite flower and it reminds her of me. I had it all over the yard of our old house. I love the color, the plant, the scent....all of it. I was touched, felt a lump in my throat, but still wished she wouldn't do it. It's been a good two years since she first brought it up and yesterday was the day of reckoning.
I was able to support her decision because I've learned over the last two years that it's just not about me at all and that, even if I have an opinion, I should keep it to myself unless asked. So I went as she put this permanent, forever mark on her beautiful perfect skin. I did not cry or discourage. When it was over, as we drove in the car, the best thing of all happened. I was able to tell her that the lavender was not only a sweet reminder of me and my love for her but also a reminder of her dad. As much as I loved lavender, I could not grow it worth a damn. Her dad, on the other hand, was so good, not only at growing it, but also finding unique varieties with different hues and scents; and he did all that for me.
I could say that with a full heart, sharing that tattoo with the man that I thought I would hate until the day I died. And an added beauty, I got to go home and share that same moment with a new man who I love more than I can express in words. He is a big enough man to handle it, support me, hold me and wipe away my tears of emotion. The tears that held a bit of sadness, a bunch of love and above all, a huge dose of Gratefulness.
It's been an amazing journey....these last few years.