As I continue to work hard at my recovery in Al-Anon, it has become very evident that I need a little more help than I am getting. Moving forward means some one on one with a professional and I am excited at the opportunity for growth.
About 5 months ago, I gave it a shot but that one did not work out. In reference to AA, she remarked something about "If your going to drink the Kool-Aid". Al-Anon has been so much personal growth for me and I am inclined to talk to someone that has a little different take on the subject. When I spoke to this counselor about my fears, she kept pointing to people outside of me....doesn't she know that I was born with fear? The people around me aren't responsible for making me afraid....I have always lived in fear mode. I wore it like my very favorite soft sweater, surrounding myself with the comfort of that at home feeling.
Not so much anymore but it rears its ugly head on occasion. I want to learn to feel it, analyze it and, hopefully, keep my big fat mouth shut until the feeling has passed. But more than that, I would like my default feeling to be much more detached and peaceful.
It's work but so worth it.