Starting Fresh

For some strange reason, anxiety has reared its ugly head. Never before have I experienced it to this degree. Freaking out a bit, I was assigning the feelings inappropriately, giving them to someone else instead of taking ownership and dealing with it. With recognition comes responsibility and addressing it the best way possible for me, myself and I.

New to this particular game, I searched out some aids. YouTube, mediation and positive affirmation videos helped some. Also, a guy named Leo with Actualized.com helped too. I fell in love with this guy months back and starting gleaming whatever I could from his videos. His talks about mindfulness, meditation, personal growth and mastering emotions were terrific. Unfortunately, there are a few of his videos that I wholeheartedly despise...especially the one on advice to women about sex and the way to a man's heart. Taking what I could use and leaving the rest has helped.

On my run yesterday, his advice was to recognize what it is, allow myself to feel it (not try to chase it away) and then detach....then he gives methods on how to do just that. It worked well....WHILE I WAS RUNNING.  Putting those tools to use today and anticipating a really good outcome but I have also scheduled a doctor’s appointment to discuss the issue. I am not a drug fan and don't take a whole lot of even over-the-counter stuff but I am open to talking about options. Always Keep An Open Mind.  

One person suggested pot as way to help. Interesting idea BUT not only do I like to have science behind my decisions, I also cannot see an easy way to "relax" when at work or in a long line at Disneyland or at a family event that has got me twisted. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Additionally, regularly filling my lungs with smoke (and whatever is inside of it) doesn't fit into my idea of good self care. 

Plugging forward today, still feeling grateful.


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