As moms, we know our kids will go through hardships. They will have scraped knees, broken ankles, bicycle accidents and worse. As they grow older, their hardships can be much more complex. They will: not get into the college of their (or maybe your) choice, have their hearts broken, have difficulty finding a job and, gasp, maybe have trouble paying rent. It can be so hard to watch without interfering. allowing them the time and privilege to work it all out and, eventually, feel empowered for doing so.
This past week was a test in quite a few ways and I would lay it all out right here except for the fact that each "issue" had its own story teller that is not me. My story is learning to be supportive but objective, patient and open, and finally to shut my damn mouth until appropriate (like after being asked for advice).
It's true that I have had a great many life experiences waiting to be shared and it is true that I depended tremendously on my mother when she was walking on this earth but I don't recall her hovering over trying to fix without being asked. Additionally, up until the last year or so, NONE of my life experiences made me an expert in anything except, perhaps, how to do a good many things incorrectly. Don't mistake me when I say that. I am not self bashing...I am just learning that the more I learn, the less I know. I did do the best I could with what I had. Now I know I can do better, I can be a help and be a friend without becoming CEO of a situation that is not mine. I can detach and trust in my God, who happens to be a bit smarter than me.