Not a day goes by that I don't miss her but some days there is a stronger feeling of longing. The desire to be held in the arms of her unconditional, unwavering love. When do we outgrow that yearning? No idea but not yet.
Thankfully, I can also feel gratitude for that love that she doled out to all 6 of us in equal measure. And I can be strong, because I saw her do it, when at about 40 and without the ability to drive, she was left with 5 kids still at home. Having never been employed outside the home, she did whatever she had to do to make it, week after week, month after month. It was a struggle and I cannot imagine how lonely she must have been.
When I think about how, at times, I feel like there is such a heavy load on my shoulders...it is good for me to remember what she went through. My kids are no longer children, I own a successful business, I have resources and a wonderful family and great friends to help whenever I need it. So grateful for a extraordinary mother who demonstrated great strength. Grateful that even if I may be going through sad or hard things, my program reminds me that I need only get through today. Tomorrow will care for itself.