Thursday, January 21, 2016

Learn to Fly

Al-Anon has given me the gift of acceptance.

It was a gift I did not know that I needed but I needed more than I can express. How acceptance manifests itself in my life is interesting and lovely.  Acceptance has allowed me to love my children exactly how they are.  Their strengths and flaws...I can love them equally, beauty in the imperfections. I can sit back and allow them to live their lives, rejoice and mourn with them, without judging their decisions or motivations. Not perfectly, but with determination I try.

My only regret is that I did not learn this sooner, so that they felt unconditional love from the very beginning. Knowing that I did the best I could with the tools I had helps with that feeling of regret but the deep desire to be the best parent I could, to provide the stable childhood I did not have, whispers to me at times "Shame on you" for your failures.

Luckily for me, all four of my kids are kind and loving and never make me feel like less of a person for my many character flaws. To the contrary, they lift me up in support and generosity. Learning to fly with acceptance. A wonderful gift indeed.

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