Pour moi, Princess Diana got this wrong.
Struggling to become a happier person began with forgiveness. Forgiveness and gratefulness was the ground work, the foundation on which a new life was built. As a thin skinned, self absorbed person, I had a lot of forgiving to do. Resentments, some still holding tiny spaces in my heart, were formed, shaped, given whatever they needed to flourish and grow. I wasn't an Ogress but I sure got things wrong at times.
My steps 4 through 9 laid it out so clearly. The steps are complete. My Secret Keeper is forgiven but there are a few people that remain. My own character defects have prevented a crossing them off the list.....the "mature" Alcoholics Anonymous member that is, very kindly, supplying porn to the phone numbers given out in his meetings, the "dancer" who introduce my husband to methamphetamine, supplying him with that and "other" things, and a gentleman that pretends to be one thing but is quite another. I will continue to work my steps and live daily with a grateful heart and, with time, expect that I will learn tolerance for the man who thinks it is OK to objectify women and share that with men who already have big problems to deal with, compassion for the woman whose life is so different than mine that I cannot fathom what took her on the path she is on, and perhaps, pity for the man who pretends to be someone he is not, for his masks must get heavy at times.
Not quite there yet....but working on it.
Meanwhile, kindness is the call for the day. It makes everything just a little bit better.