Thursday, October 15, 2015

Courage to Be Happy and Grateful

My first blog post was on September 21st 2014. Thirteen months have past since that post. Fifteen months since my Secret Keepers walls fell in on him.

Never in a million years would I have believed I would be grateful but I am. Grateful that I am out of such an unhappy situation. Thankful for the new doors God has opened.

There was love but we were such a mess. The downward spiral happened so slowly; you don't even realize how warped it is until you have a chance to look back at it from a new perspective. Once all was found out and once he was tucked far away in rehab, desperation and fear were the feelings that controlled  my thoughts and actions. How I wish I knew then what I know now.

I think about the Bob D Alcoholics Anonymous speaker tape when he talks about the man who has a number of different things happen to him that the world construes as either bad or good. This wise man sits back and accepts but does not judge and in the end, some of the good turns to sorrow and some of the bad give reason for rejoicing. As the wise man says, "I don't know, it could be good, it could be bad". One never knows how things will turn out a day, a week, a year or a decade from now.  Learning to accept and not judge.

My wise daughter had words of comfort for me. She mentioned that even though the situation is certainly not perfect for him, our Secret Keeper must have some peace in knowing he is not spending every minute of every day looking for a fix and lying to everyone that cares for him. Additionally, he knows that his children love him unconditionally and do not judge him for what has happened. I hope there is some comfort for him. I hope that he has the courage to find his GRATEFUL like I have been so blessed to find.

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