Monday, September 28, 2015

Prayers vs. Fears

As I went back over my blog, I noticed a definite theme. Working my program, failing to work my program, working my program, failing to work my program.

Looking at the big picture, I know what the problem is. I have faith in God, I know that I was created by God and that he cares for me but the fact of the matter is that God is really busy and might overlook a situation that is important to me. Lack of faith. FEAR.

Fear still rules in my life at times. And, truthfully, though I want it to change, I'm not too hard on
myself. I learned to survive with fear and there were times that it probably served me well; protected me. A lifetime of behavior does not change over night. Sadly, I can still call up reasons to fear; like when loved ones are behaving in self destructive ways or when they are hurting me with words or actions. Those are the times I need to give it up to God. 

Where is the line in the sand though? Where do we say "God I give this to you" or "Fuck off, I'm don't have to live like this anymore". When do I pray, "God, they are yours to protect", or this isn't something that fits my lifestyle, time for larger, better defined, boundaries.  Hard questions.

If you were looking to me for answers....HAHAHAHA. I'm a baby at this game but I'm learning. If you have any answers, I'd love to hear them.

Have a wonderful day and leave your fear where it the feet of your Higher Power.

1 comment:

  1. Ha! Maybe we should exchange emails or phone numbers. I give it to God every single day. Some days...I don't know what the hell happens to me, but the answers are no where to be found. And FYI...I live in Illinois.


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