Love Notes From Daddy

The year anniversary came and went and I didn't even think to blog about it. That fact alone is a testament to God's grace and benevolence.

I had a few teary moments and some sorrow but overall the day was just like every other day. Any tears shed were for what my kids had to go through and how much I wish that the father they used to have still existed.

He was an amazing dad and I remember feeling so blessed by his devoted attention to his job as a loving father. Being in the dental industry, whenever he was home in time for bedtime, he would lay each of them on the living-room floor and gently and thoroughly brush their little baby teeth. Even a little older than that....they seem to enjoy the time and would lay willingly and patiently. I remember the warm summer weekends where my Secret Keeper would shove branches in his hat, put mud on his face and play war with our kids and any other neighborhood kids who would like to join in. Him against the neighborhood. Fortunately, he managed to find the biggest, baddest water gun produced on the market, plus he managed to put a few smaller ones in his belt and pockets. The little ones were no match....terribly out gunned. They loved every minute of it.

Each kid has little love notes from him tucked here and there. The cottage in the back yard was built with love and an expectation that many happy hours would be spent there.  Each child was the recipient of long bedtime stories and fervent prayers to our God for guidance and wisdom.

That man is now a stranger to me. Almost a character out of book I cherished as a young lady..

I don't mention all this because of my desire to have what I once had back. I mention all this because remembering it allows me to love and forgive and be grateful and move forward. I have moved forward. I am in love with a new man. A different man. God has been so gracious to put two wonderful men in my life.

My job is to accept today as it is, make amends for the wrongs I have done, not to overthink tomorrow and be grateful for the path that has been laid before me.  Not an easy endeavor, but I keep plugging at it....One Day at A Time.

Comments

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary sr. soun
Read more

Let's Be Perfectly Clear

I would like your input on this letter I am considering sending out. Darryl, I once considered you, if not a friend, a very friendly acquaintance. Our daughters are the same age. I am sure that your daughter is as special to you as mine is to me. McKenna is 21 years old and starting out her life with some tough situations. SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT. She is a person who has her ups and downs, her struggles and triumphs. She has, in the past year, completely alone, had to make scary medical decisions for her mentally ill, addicted father. She has had to watch as the man who was an amazing father slowly turn into a shell of a man who has little to give and much to take. Whether purposefully or accidentally, you have added to her already difficult year. I wonder…would you appreciate my ex-husband leering and making inappropriate comments to your daughter over the course of a long evening? Think about that for a moment!  What were you hoping to achieve with your behavior? Whether
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  It can be
Read more