I love the idea that the actions of the people we care about have nothing to do with us. It frees us up from the crazy emotions and allows us to step back and decide where we will place our boundaries. Is that behavior in line with the way I want to live life? Are changes necessary in order to be peaceful and content? Detaching from the behavior is a gift from the program. Knowing that we will be OK no matter what we decide is also an incredible gift.
Talking the Al-Anon talk is so much easier than walking it. Daily struggles send us back to the old way of doing things. Keep working your way back.