Monday, May 18, 2015

Just For Today

Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

This morning, on my walk, I was remembering the complete paralyzing fear I had in those initial days.  I was drowning in it, unable to stop the recording in my head. Witnessing the pain of my poor children as the SWAT team lead my Secret Keeper away, the loss of a good portion of our income and our health insurance, possible loss of my home, dealing with a sick, scary person, the alienation of valued friends, the costs of the impending medical bills, being alone. And then a jolt of shock! I don't live in that place anymore. Those memories have lost their power. The rest of the walk was spent recognizing the beauty around me and the gift of another wonderful day.

The dread and anger and hate have all slowly ebbed; replaced by empowerment, understanding and empathy.  Not completely but for the most part. The fear is the hardest part because, as an ACA, it is a part of my very nature, deeply ingrained. But awareness is half the battle because you don't know what you don't know, do you?  I am a changed person and now I will do all I need to hold onto the new me, the me not ruled by fear.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid
to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe
that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me

I'm sharing this because the big enemy was the fear itself. All those things may or may not have happened but one way or another I ended up standing with myself and my own reactions to the situation.  Learning to respond not react is imperative.

‘Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
~Lao Tzu
I hope you have an exceptional day.

1 comment:

  1. Him and I are in a shitty place at the moment...all I want to do is react...badly! Trying to work the program today. One day at a time, right?


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