The weight of anger and pain and, dare I say, hatred is considerable, so burdensome. At times, the need to feel justified, validated by onlookers, perhaps even pitied (guilty as charged) can keep you in that horrible place.
But life moves forward. If you are wise or if you have someone around that helps you open your eyes or if you can somehow see how much damage it does to your heart and to the ones that love you, you can try to drag yourself up. Some people forgive so easy. I am not that person. But I've got a God that wants so much more for me than anger and spite. He has begun the softening of my rough edges and pointed out those areas that need work. Some that I knew of but held onto like an treasured family heirloom and some I simply was not conscious of.
Our families of origin helped form the people we are; good, bad or otherwise. I lived life without digging deeper, relying on that foundation and learning little life lessons on the way. Now I know the importance of questioning the precepts of that foundation. With a little help, I will continue that journey.
"We are given a family to begin with, and we create our own story. Where there's room or where there's light. We grow up as best we can. Between unspoken words, unanswered questions. And then one day we look at our parents as a man and a woman we might have met and simply loved for what they were.
I wish the same for my children and your children too. May they all continue their journey of faith, love, questioning and gratefulness. Knowing the importance of having empathy for the flawed people that God puts in our lives; because without that, we cannot have empathy for ourselves.
I would love to know how you are growing and what you are doing to be a person who values the beauty in the world.