Last few days have been a bit hard.
Why does mental illness work against itself in almost all situations? I wish I knew. What I do know is that the people that care for someone with mental illness can see so clearly what needs to be done to help the situation. Meanwhile, the sick person continues on a road of self abuse, self destruction and craziness and, for some reason, tries to drag everyone they love down with them.
My stomach is churning and I am trying so hard to practice gratitude right now. It's coming slowly but not easily. Worrying about the future is not something I should be doing. I'm grabbing tomorrow back from my Higher Power and saying, "I got this dude....step aside while I figure things out."
Meanwhile, my person, who I love, is in a tremendous amount of pain but still manipulating. Trying for a delicate balance of:
I care for you, how can I help
Stop texting me that shit or I will block your damn number
Sometimes, or often, I feel like I am the one with mental illness. But then my head clears, as it always does, and I am back to lifting my cares up to God and finding gratefulness in the little things.
I will try for a little more kindness today. Hope you do too♥