Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Elusive Summer

I have a friend who has always carried summer in her heart. Has she had tough times? You betcha! Some really tough times. Did she let her situation steal her summer?  Not one iota.

Things are wonderful for her right now. She has the love of a good man and a job that she enjoys, a beautiful home and healthy kids.  Is everything perfect? Of course not. But my friend has a summer that keeps her heart so warm that she sees the good, looks for the possibility, picks out the positive, never needs to gossip, and generally makes others want to be a part of her life. Unless, and I can't stress this enough, unless you resent her summer and want to continue to hang out in your winter. You begrudge her for her happiness because your situation is worse, right?

As for me, I want, no....need, the summer in my life.  I need the warmth of knowing that there is always some good if you just look hard enough.

According to a 

This Is Scientific Proof That Happiness Is A Choice  By 

One theory in psychology research suggests that we all have a happiness "set-point"that largely determines our overall well-being. We oscillate around this set point, becoming happier when something positive happens or the opposite, afterwards returning to equilibrium.
But this set-point, to a certain extent, can be reset
It suggests I practice the following in order to start the change;
1. Make happiness your number-one goal. 2. Linger on those little, positive moments. 3. Choose mindfulness. 4. Smile your way to happiness. 5, Practice gratitude. 6. Pursue happiness, find happiness -- and success. 7. Let yourself be happy. 8. Simply try.
I started practicing gratitude first and important things like forgiveness, empathy and compassion seemed to follow. I'm still working on the rest, but things are starting to fall into place. Honestly, for me, I just have to say I am grateful to God for watching over me, teaching what is important and putting wise (and happy) people in my life.

Be kind♥

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Linda! I feel so very connected to you at this moment.... Through you, I have revisited those darker places of my life and am so grateful for the journey it offered me, especially now as I can truly state, Life Is Good. I suppose in a way, life has always been good, but ever-so-painful along the way! The despair still humbles me. I cannot wonder, if that certain someone you mentioned above might be me. My first hint being in the message you sent me. My second hint, being it resonated so strongly with me. Although I have never thought of it in such terms... keeping summer in my heart. I shall make note of that term and think of you every time it comes to mind. We have known each other for a very, very long time. So many chapters have opened and closed... the blessing always being the opportunity for a fresh and new chapter. As you earlier wrote and something I keep close to heart, we all are doing the best we can with the tool chest we have. For me, this current chapter has been happier than my wildest dreams. After so may tumultuous periods of my life, I am so very grateful for the calm, steady, loving rhythm of life I now enjoy. May that be hope to you too!! I feel deeply you will find this gift also awaiting you - truly, when you least expect it! Prayer, gratitude, forgiveness and love are essential...as you already know firsthand in this humbling experience you presently own. For me, I have always been able to stand up after a terrible fall. How grateful I am to have had those tools! For some, it has been so much more difficult. I truly believe and practice the rule, "Do not take it personally." from Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements - excellent read!). It all goes back to that toolbox. People are just doing the best they can as they muddle though their own demons. What a big, beautiful heart you have for recognizing that...and trying to bestow care and forgiveness instead of spite and anger to your partner of 29 years. Not easy and such a BIG hurtle to overcome, but one BIG step to your own healing and peace of mind! One more thought.... I found it a quite new and odd thought that it might be my life that causes others resentment. It instantly brought me back to years, even married years, when I so YEARNED for the happiness some other couples radiated. I distinctly remember moments in time that screamed the twist of irony...others having so easily what I so badly wanted. Again, the despair. However, practicing prayer, gratitude and love carried me a long way.. Actually, you have just reminded me that when days were so dark and I could scarcely breathe, I found comfort in the simplest of pleasures... a warm cup of tea, a soft blanket, a honey bee dancing from flower to flower. .. I made a practice of that - in fact, I journaled it a time - focusing on the smallest of pleasures when my heart was so heavy, I found it hard to find hope. And these baby steps were the beginning, leading me to where I am today.... a place where I am truly happy and at peace. It is all about the journey... and you, my dear friend of many decades, will soon find summer in your heart... of that, I am sure!

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