Phone calls and texts from a person with mental illness can make ones life feel completely out of control!
As I sit here and think about all I have learned in the past 11 weeks, I know that I have not learned enough to deal with this. Boundaries, detaching with love, being manipulated, passive aggressive behaviors, thoughts of divorce, protecting ones assets. How is one suppose to act when a loved one suggests that they have no reason to live unless they can have you? What I need is a masters degree in every "effing" subject. It's all just too much.
So.....I take a deep breath. Another and another. Close my eyes and remind myself not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. What will happen, will happen. Back to my old mantra;
~My heart is full of love for my family. I will care for them and myself
to the best of my ability. God is in control and all is well~
All does not feel well but I will go with it for now and trust that this is what I need to do to get through my day without needing to medicate myself into oblivion (haha, see Sept 25th's "I Love Life" to know I am joking). Today is my concern, not tomorrow. I am trusting that God is in control here and has a plan for me and my loved ones.
I am feeling a bit better....thanks for listening.
Be kind to yourself and your mentally ill loved ones (with healthy boundaries, of course) ♥