Tuesday, September 23, 2014

These Things are True

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds 
on the heel that has crushed it.” 
― Mark Twain

They say that people whose marriages crumble feel many of the same things that widows and widowers feel.

• They feel abandoned by their mate.

• They feel alone in their grief.
• They feel as if they could have done something to prevent this.
• They feel like a marked person. They don’t fit in with normal couples anymore.
• They have a lot of unfinished business with their spouse that is now off-limits or has been overshadowed by what has occurred.
• They feel terrified of the future.
• They feel they should be doing better than they are.

Lord, this could not be more true for me.  Although it was me that asked my husband to not return home, it was him that abandoned the family to his addictions of various kinds. The feelings of loneliness are overwhelming. Each of those statements applies to me at any given time of the day and night.

Luckily, in between those times I am starting to reconcile my old life with the new. Occasionally I have a feeling of empowerment and, hopefully, a confidence that will grow with each passing day.

I have learned that harboring feelings of resentment at the way I was deceived or manipulated is futile and self destructive. As I focus on those incidences, anxiety and anger swell.  I have a new mantra for when those thoughts invade my mind.  

~My heart is full of love for my family. I will care for them and myself 
to the best of my ability.  God is in control and all is well~

My husband did and still does love me but he is sick and worthy of my empathy and care.  I can do that because my spirit wants to soar again and that can never happen if I am using my energy to guilt or shame him.

If you're struggling with grief of any kind, I would love to hear how you are coping and what you are doing to transform yourself to achieve inner peace.  '

Be kind to yourself♥

1 comment:

  1. Linda I'm obviously starting at the beginning and reading forward. I'm sorry of course for your loss, but my admiration is deep. What an inner strength you possess! I love the part where you speak of your husband still loving you despite his issues....and him being "worthy" of your empathy and care. And this.... "I can do that because my spirit wants to soar again and that can never happen if I am using my energy to guilt or shame him." Bless you... I will keep reading.


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