Sunday, June 17, 2018

Dads and Non-Dads

My man didn’t get to be a father.  It was his hearts desire but it didn’t turn out that way.

He loves kids. Where ever we go, he takes joy in seeing them, interacting with them, making them smile.  Loving their spirits and making major allowances for the unhappy, crying child that I quickly become annoyed at. He loves seeing little girls in tutus and he talks to the boy in Walmart getting a bike for his birthday. He waves at all babies, plays peek a boo with any willing participant and knows that most of them seem to love his deep, rich voice. He tells them he likes their light up shoes or their superhero T-shirt. He reaches out to them at their level.

Would he have been a good dad? I don’t really know, for it is baptism by fire. But the other day, while talking to his best friend on the phone, and hearing only one side of the conversation, I think his friend may have said something to the effect of, “You're lucky you don’t have to deal with this” in regards to struggles with raising kids. For a moment, I felt angry on his behalf before remembering I did not really hear what was said and the Boy Scout didn’t seem to take it offensively so why should I. I know he would have liked the chance to be a dad but he doesn’t hold that broken dream in a spot and nurture the wound. He just wistfully accepts it. I’m in awe of that because I don’t know that I could be that person, not babying the bitterness of the loss.

Would he have been a good dad?  I don’t know. But I do know, for sure, that one day he will make a fabulous granddad. 

11 comments:

  1. yes, the boy scout will be a great grandfather.

    my spouse and I were never meant to be parents to human kids; we love our furkids to death though.

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  2. Not all of us are destined to walk the path of parenthood and that's just fine. You make a good point that the Boy Scout will undoubtedly shine when he gets to be a grandfather!

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  3. Grandfathers are the best! This piece could have been written about my husband. He never had kids of his own but he was a wonderful stepdad to mine. And if the girls one day have kids, my husband will make an amazing grandfather. Sometimes dreams just evolve into something else.

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    1. Of course he will. You were lucky enough to marry the most amazing man in the world.

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  4. I am also childless, but don't regret it. I like kids and have assisted in the raising of several. The fun part about not being a parent is that sometimes the parents ask what their kids are up to. They will often confide in an adult who is not their parent so I have to fill them in. Sometimes.

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    1. An outside adult that can be trusted is a wonderful thing.

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  5. I was lucky. I got to borrow Rick's boys as they were growing up and we are close. Greg calls me his step mom even though his dad and I aren't married and our Baby Grand knows he has two grandparents in this house (to the degree the kid knows much of anything yet!). I don't regret I didn't have my own but I'm grateful I had to opportunity to experience a part of it.

    Thanks for popping by my blog! It's always nice to see you!

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    1. The more people we have to love and love us, the better life is.

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