Big Plans
Isn’t it odd how we end our teen years and start our adult lives thinking we have to plan things out, plotting our futures using either the excellent tools our parents supplied us with or the complete for-shit set of tools we acquired because they themselves didn’t have any to begin with. Off we go with dreams of how it “our lives” will turn out with the ever so careful choices we made. At some point comes the awareness that it really didn’t matter, those choices we made, because, in reality, we were never driving the bus. And some of us, we didn’t even get a seat. We were hanging on to the bumper wondering if we were going to have the strength to keep holding on. Finally, if we’re lucky, we get off, we let go. But it hurts to let go, to surrender, to realize that our choices really don’t drive, affect maybe, but not drive. There’s an ache and so much damn fear that comes with the letting go. Perhaps because all the energy we put into hanging on to the bumpe...