An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

Continuing my quest for happiness and peace, daily reminders are needed to support the changes made. Notes posted on my walls and in my car. Carefully following positive sites in social media. I even get a daily text reminding me to watch my thoughts and find the beauty in life.  Life is good. Amen and amen. When I backtrack, I no longer beat myself up....just do better next time. Inner thoughts slowly have improved.  No longer does that, "You're so "effing stupid" rule my peace. To that voice in my head, "You talk way too damn much and who asked your opinion anyways." Love and kindness, to others and to myself, will be the overriding goal.  Saturday was our yearly Home Garden Tour. Plans fell through and I started the tour on my own, which was really OK. Only when I went up MY street, past MY house, did I have a rough time. Another persons' car was in the driveway. Furniture was being moved in. It put a damper on the afternoon but not out of

Had my first date in 34 years. It was; awkward and comfortable, fun yet difficult, sweet and bittersweet, thrilling yet a reminder of my age. But the best word to describe it was normal. I sat at the table, conversing and watching his face, checking out his smile, looking for that authentic being, my heart filling with memories of long ago and then putting them away. He was sweet and attentive, gregarious without being overbearing....a really nice evening. How long has it been since I felt normal?  I can't remember and I guess it's not all that important. Normal is good, really good.

I said goodbye without a tear.  Better than that....I left without feelings of resentment, anger or blame. Sadness tugged here and there, reminding me that my old dreams still had a bit of a hold on me, but overall, not too bad.  I could credit so many different reasons.  First and foremost, four wonderful kids who have managed to love both of their parents through a difficult, dirty and ugly situation. Kudos to them for the hard work they've done to be OK.  Secondly, a God who has shown me that in order to receive mercy and kindness, I must be willing to give it out freely, without strings. Only then am I free to love myself and accept dynamic love from others. Next, the support of friends and family and of another unique family that started me thinking in a different way.......my lovely circle of friends on Happier.com. These people showed me that no matter the circumstance, one can always find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for. And finally, to Al-Anon for