An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

I approach the intersection, like I do numerous times a week. It’s one of those where you settle in, knowing you’re going to have a good long wait. That’s when I see him just like I’ve seen him before. He used to walk, then he got a bike. The bike, just like him, is a little older and kind of beat up. I see the telltale signs of the gang culture. He is sporting the long khaki colored shorts that have trouble staying up in back with black “man socks” that come up high enough that only an inch or two of skin show between the shorts and the socks. On his feet are the black work shoes and up top is the required trucker cap and dark sunglasses. He’s very thin, perhaps a bit too thin and looks like the bike is his only mode of transportation at this point in time. I saw him yesterday and the day before, riding his bike with one hand and a football size cargo in the other. It made the riding somewhat awkward but he was careful. Doing circles around the sidewalk, as if he had no real destin...

When the 24th comes round, my Boy Scout will be found in the kitchen, showing his affection for me and the kids by sharing his love of cooking. Not just the kids though, there will be an additional guest. The Secret Keeper (my ex) will be there too. When I share that, I'm not able to impart the astonishment I feel about that fact. You see, when the break up happened it was with some very unfortunate circumstances. If we look at the behaviors prior to the downfall, like lying, cheating, prostitution, stealing, drug use, and did I mention lying, you would think I would never be in the same room with that man again. I would think I would never be in the same room with that man again .  But four amazing, forgiving kids, a strong desire to not carry anger for the rest of my life, an ACA and Al-Anon program, a blog to process my progress and the development of a modicum of empathy has brought this strange dinner party to our house.  This man, living in a sober li...

WORD FOR THE DAY The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe. JOANNA MACY There are times we do all that we can to avoid emotional or physical pain. But big growth often comes from those broken places.  I wish that the horrible and devastating events that happened to my family had never happened.  I was lucky enough to have a great support system and an urgent desire to not be angry the rest of my life.  I would not think of reverting back to the old me. The new and improved model loves more freely, fears less, has a larger capacity for empathy, is less moody and is taking responsibility for feelings, good or bad. I like her a ton more. Plus I gained a Boy Scout. ps. Arm is healing and I am learning to do loads of things one handed. Thanks for the good cheer♥